Feedback on "A Literary Life"

''A Literary Life'' by Matthew McHugh - WHAT THE JUDGE(S) LIKED ABOUT YOUR SCRIPT - ...The very subtle sexual attraction here between M. and the librarian is well done; it's also good that the writer has firmly grounded us in exactly where/what/who/when......................The remote control action was funny and somewhat genuine. The ending was also a nicely handled twist.................................................... WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK - ...The use of the word "stalked" in the first line was odd to me; also, a bit further down, there is "comforted and depressed him." These are conflicting emotions--and I wanted to know why; perhaps tie this to the attraction he has for the librarian more concretely, so that this makes more sense? I'd also consider the introduction of the character/conflict/crisis/change structure--the potential or strains of it are already in the piece--obviously, the rabbit, a symbol of fertility, is part of that. But then the question becomes: what does the rabbit DO that makes this man realize he really needs to go for this librarian? I'd give this some thought......................Title/synopsis should be on their own page. There are quite a few places where the narrative doesn't quite make sense. For example: warm-cold fluorescent lights; that over an 11 month period, there would be holidays wherein the library is closed, even during normal business hours (Monday-Saturday); that most libraries have high shelves, and it would be impossible to dance on top of them without hitting the ceiling. There are some grammatical mistakes, chief among them run-on sentences.