Friday, March 23, 2012

Feedback on The Godbaby



Your feedback from the judges on your 1st Round story in the Short Story Challenge 2012 is below.  We hope you find the feedback helpful and hope to see you in our next competition!

''Godbaby'' by Matt McHugh  - WHAT THE JUDGE(S) LIKED ABOUT YOUR SCRIPT - There are some humorous moments in this story's unique approach to the ghost story genre............................There's some neat imagery in here--I'm thinking, in particular, about the line "An arm sat on a nearby bench, the area that had been ripped from the shoulder clearly visible, resembling a mass of melted earthworms." WOW! This was also a fun read, and atmospherically reminded me of that film from the 1980s, Coccoon -- old guys makin' trouble. Always a fun read.................................................   WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK - This story, especially its last section, unfolds at a very rapid pace. Both the horror and the comedy could be heightened by slowing down a little and reflecting on how the character react to the unimaginable events that befall them............................Opening a story with a quote is hard to do--I'd suggest better grounding, meaning the character needs to know where we are, who the characters are, and what the opening situation is so he can move forward...................…........................
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