Discovering God Through Infestation

I’m not vengeful. I’m not even angry. I just need you to stop doing that, thank you, and en masse, and this seems like the most efficient way. So I bring down upon the ants what they no doubt see as a great deluge, washing them off of whatever item they’re swarming over and on down the drain. Do I get some satisfaction from it? Only because, of all the repeated warnings, none have been heeded. Still, I am not proud of this. And every time, I think that, if you would all only stop, repent, reform, then we wouldn’t have to do this, and we would have a much more harmonious existence…and if I could inspire a handful of the crazier ones to communicate this to the rest, then I would do so in a second…and if it even took me somehow miniaturizing my only son and molding him into ant form to get those bastards to pay attention…well, no, I wouldn’t do that. That’s kinda messed...but yeah, you would have to so love those little bastards to do something like that, right? Even with that difference of opinion, I think we’re still pretty much on the same wavelength. So yeah, God. I get cha’. And do I think it’s likely that in some not-exactly-analogous-manner, we’re ants in God’s apartment? Yup I do. I mean, if he isn’t actually perfect, or even omnipotent, but just so much more powerful and intelligent than we are that it often seems like it, then that’d clear up a whole lotta questions, wouldn’t it? Hey, do you really think we look like him, or do ya’ think he just said that to be nice?