More non-sense! More non-sense!
OK, that’s better. I can almost make it out...
More non-sense! More non-sense!
Oh, OK. Now I got ya! How ‘bout a little louder, just for emphasis?
More non-sense! More non-sense!
Oh, come on. You can do better than that!
More non-sense! More non-sense!
OK, there we go! All right, you asked for it — you got it!...But only ‘cause you showed restraint...
(It just so happens that, in my celery-related research, I came across some interesting tidbits regarding another iconic, life-giving character central to daily life...following are those tidbits.)
Vin Diesel’s k mode can actually travel faster than the speed of light. His non-k mode can travel just as fast, but only for less than the Planck time. He claims that he beat a ray of light in a marathon once, but there are no other witnesses to confirm it, because he proceeded to reflect the ray of light into space using his bald pate.
Vin Diesel is the man in the moon.
Vin Diesel sells snake oil, but only authentic snake oil, and then only to those snakes who need it.
Vin Diesel knows how to fix social security, but he’s not telling anyone until he gets his biscuit back.
Vin Diesel divided by zero is still Vin Diesel.
Vin Diesel was the 92nd pope.
Vin Diesel can read Japanese, but only while sleeping.
Vin Diesel is 99 octane.
Vin Diesel is more widely available at European gas stations.
Vin is really a nickname for Vini, given to him by his brothers, Vidi and Vici.
Vin Diesel is the mythical creator of Rome.
Vin Diesel secretly hates Secretary’s Day, but gets his secretary a big bouquet of flowers every year. However, due to his animosity toward the idea, he doesn’t get the freshest flowers, but rather a bunch that are already showing the first signs of wilt.
Vin Diesel knows your mother’s maiden name.
Vin Diesel has his cake and is eating it as we speak.
Due to the favorable exchange rate, a Vin Diesel in the hand is worth about 3.5 in the bush.
Vin Diesel has a master’s in Pig Latin, but feels it only appropriate to use when he time travels back to Roman farms.
Vin Diesel originally drove the snakes out of Ireland, but then thought better of it and put them back.
Vin Diesel is really only 55% diesel and 45% unleaded.
Vin Diesel moved my cheese.
Vin Diesel built Stonehenge.
Vin Diesel calls them crawdads.
Vin Diesel is neither a VIN nor a diesel. Discuss amongst yourselves.
Vin Diesel sells seashells by the sea shore. And he has a higher profit margin than she does.
Vin Diesel is the 1965 Marion County, Louisiana, macrame champion.
Vin Diesel has courted queens and supermodels, but he prefers his teddy bear Mr. Winkus.
If Vin Diesel ever made a lunar landing, the Earth would rotate around the moon.
Vin Diesel waxes gibbous about three times annually.
Vin Diesel prefers calligraphy to stencil, but will even just do chiaroscuro shading if the need arises.
Vin Diesel is the fifth estate.
Vin Diesel is Lonestar’s father.
Vin Diesel will stop the rain.
Vin Diesel's is the son of a liger and a mule.
Vin Diesel stole the kiszka.
He also stole the cookie from the cookie jar.
Vin Diesel is the deal with airline peanuts.
Vin Diesel is the question and the answer.
(Inspired by sites such as the following:
http://4q.cc/index.php?pid=top100&person=vin
and
http://intrawebnet.com/vindiesel/.)
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